For the 6th year my family gathered in the funeral home lobby and placed memorial ornaments on a Christmas tree each holding the name of someone’s loved one who had passed away this year. We read the names and remember the families of each. We reminisce about how many of these names were friends, family and acquaintances of our own. But something is a bit different about this year’s tree. This tree is a bit more personal to me than those from years past. You see, this year my family member's ornament is also hanging on that tree.
In June of this year the funeral director became the mourner. My grandmother, affectionately known to me as Nana, passed away. I had to pull double duty planning and conducting a funeral while mourning and writing a eulogy. She was my last grandparent. A final connection to that generation for me, now gone. The funeral was beautiful and everything went to plan. I swiftly went back to my duty as the director assisting the mourner while still having the loss of my grandmother heavy on my heart.
As the holidays drew near and I began to look over beautiful holidays poems and prayers and “in memory” posts to share with our Facebook followers and families I understood that these posts meant just as much to me as to all the families I’ve served. Typical holiday grief sayings rang in my head: The holidays are difficult, nothing will be the same, allow yourself to grieve, find a way to honor them. As generic as these sound; there is so much truth in these words. We have to find ways to get through the holidays knowing they are forever changed.
Last year we continued our family tradition of baking Italian cookies together not knowing it would be the last with our grandmother. I am so blessed to have the memories of that day and those from years before. Cookie day will never be the same without our Nana. Every holiday will be different now. Her laughter and song will no longer be a part of our future gatherings but her memories of years past will forever be in our hearts. So this year as I hand out memorial ornaments to family members from our annual tree there is more understanding of the grief they feel at that moment.
I thank each beautiful family who has entrusted us to care for their loved one. I feel for you throughout this holiday season and everyday. I hope that you remember to keep the memories of years past close to your heart. And I remind you to share the stories of your loved ones with your children to pass on the traditions, love and memories of those gone before us.
Victoria Ordoyne Thomas
Co-Owner
Funeral director
Eldest granddaughter to Nana